dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
