The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm at about main and main street
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
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