Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize