i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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