Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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