What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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