I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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