So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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