You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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