It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
