I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
