Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Randomize
