If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
