I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
