Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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