I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
