So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize