The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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