the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
