i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
