i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
