Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize