There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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