found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
