I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Two words: blizzard sex
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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