You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize