I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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