He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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