I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
it's great music for shaving your balls
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
