I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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