dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
nutella sex= disaster
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
