So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
