p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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