So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
