yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize