if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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