I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
