I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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