why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I seem to have left my pride at pride
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I wish i was in the wii world.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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