I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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