I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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