i think my tv is drunk
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
