Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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