I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
