STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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