I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She even gives head with a lisp.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
