I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
