STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
