Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Houston, we have a squirter
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize