apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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