john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
