hotel room ftw
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize