Your face is a jimmy john
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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