Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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