accomplished twins. life is a go
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
