Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
