she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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