I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
