This is not my ceiling
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
