too bad you live with your parents still
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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