well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
