I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
