can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
