Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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