we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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