My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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