Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
