Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
