what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
