SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
