Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
