new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
