Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
