Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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