i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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