You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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