Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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